I remember the excitement of Spring. I remember my kids starting to get cabin fever and I remember them counting the days until Spring Break.
But, for me, Spring simply meant I had to start thinking hard and heavy about Spring Break and Summer. What in the heck was I to do for the holiday or all summer with kids and no school?
One of the things that catapulted me into the teaching field was divorce. Granted, as a stay home mom I had taught my oldest from home. I even enjoyed those days. But, as my youngest was heading into Kindergarten, I was looking forward to going back to school and continuing my education in University for my dream career. I had dropped out of University when my first child was born (thinking I would just take a few years off). I had quite my paying job and become a stay home mom once my second child was born. And then when number three came along I had a plan to begin back to school and my dreams and my career when he entered Kindergarten.
My ex-husband had other plans. He moved out of the house in December the year my youngest started Kindergarten. I moved into a rental that January. I had begun my entry back to school at a Junior College at the same time my youngest was beginning Kindergarten. It was the plan, right? And then the other shoe dropped. He didn't want to be married anymore.
There were many questions during that semester. I made it through with a decent grade, but it was tough. Then the real questions began, what do I do next semester? Go back to school? Go back to work? What do I do with kids during their holidays, during their summer months? How do I make enough money to live when I am paying for school, for rent, for food all on a minimum child support check?
I made the decision to go back to school. I lived on child support and odd jobs here and there. We barely had enough money to live on. In fact, there were times when we didn't have food in the fridge, or pantry. God supplied in amazing ways. We survived those three years and I have never regretted them.
I have to admit, I hated going through them, but I have never regretted them. It was a time of us pulling together and all of us moving toward the goal of my graduation!
And graduate I did. I began my years as a teacher in my early 30's and my kids basically went to school with me.
There are two things that came out of this time:
1. I saw God provide in miraculous ways.
2. My family learned how to get through tough times and how important certain things were.
Now, does this mean that you must get an education degree - pronto?
Of course not. This simply means that where ever you are right now, either struggling in the working world, or struggling to get a degree, you are right where you and your family are meant to be. You are in a time of growth and of struggle because these situations honestly bring the mettle into you and your children's character.
Talking to my kids about the realities of our situation without overwhelming them with the details was a balancing act. I did it well some days, and some days I didn't. But I made it through better and more equipped to take on life in other new ways. And my kids did too.
You might have to get a babysitter, send the kids to daycare for the summer, or find a summer camp to lodge them. You might be lucky enough to have grandparents, or dear friends that are willing to take the kids for the summer while you wade through those days alone in a house, missing them like crazy, but doing what needs to be done for their livelihood. You might even look into asking a reliable/trustworthy neighbor if they can take care of them for the duration of holidays and summer so you can be with them in the evenings and only away from them during the day. REALIZE that this is simply for a season.
Soon they will be old enough to stay home through the summers, through the holidays and be with you. Talking to them about the whys and hows of your job, your classes, your decisions. This will help them better understand that you are not simply packing them off because you don't want to be around them. If you let them know your heart during these moments of struggle, when they are able to stay home, they will do it more maturely. They will understand that to build a home with trust in each other and well-being in the family is the goal.
I know that holidays and summers are difficult. But hold on, girl. You can do this. You have them only for a short time. They will grow up and fly. Be the mom that built their wings to be strong enough to handle their own storms that always will come in life.
May I pray for you?
Abba,
Take care of this mom that loves her babies so much. Take care of her as she deals with the struggles and the concerns of holidays and summer care. Surround her with the provision that she needs to make it through these lean days. Allow her to know that she can make it and that her children will not only make it but benefit from this time that you have them in the shadows. Remind her that communication is the benefit of struggle. Without it comes dissension and rebellion. Give her strength to keep the door open and their lives with the end result in mind. Allow her to love You as her husband and provider. Give her strength, tenderness, and courage. In your name - Amen.
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