As a single mom, I was continually concerned about communication. Was I listening well enough? Was I being clear in my boundaries? Were we connecting? Did my kids know without question that I wished things could be different, but they simply weren't and we were doing the best in sometimes tough situations. Did my kids know that I loved them and would do anything to be in relationship with them.
The next few weeks I would like to hit on some of the things I have learned about communication.
First, I learned that an opportunity for each person to express themselves is unbelievably empowering.
I find that often in conversations of more than two people there ends up being several competing conversations going on. Don't you find that too? You know what I mean. You are listening intently to the person sitting next to you when you happen to hear a few words from a conversation across the room and all of a sudden you are listening to both conversations at the same time and trying to get the jest of each of them. It pretty much ruins your concentration over the conversation that you are actually in.With this understanding, I have found that if we start a 'house rule' when we are all together at the table, in the living room, in the car... that each person has an opportunity to share their thoughts about whatever topic is being discussed without interruption, each person gets heard. One person has the 'floor' until that person is completely finished with their thought. Then someone else can share. Either in response to that thought or bringing an entire new thought.
This gives each person a chance to talk without competing with another person's add-ons. It instills in a group environment a sense that each person is valued and heard. Honestly, this one rule changes so many dynamics in the family system.
It takes practice, but it is worth it.
Try it. See how it works. Let me know.
RoRoEbenezer
& HoneyB
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