It's Holy Week.
Lots of kids are off or will be off of school for Spring Break.
Palm Sunday ushered in this week with aplomb here on the east coast. Snow on Saturday and cool on Sunday, Monday was beautiful here and today the same. The temps will rise and then fall again soon. Spring is here!
Our daffodils are all up but no real blooms yet. Q and I are ready.We await the possibilities of spring.
Do you?
How are things in your world? Is it beginning to brighten with the season change or are you in a place where you don't know which end is up?
With the onset of spring comes many requests from kids to go - go - go. I remember having to say no often when I was a single mom. But when do you say yes, and when do you say no?
When my kids were young and we were still an intact family we lived in a duplex. It was a nice neighborhood and we loved our neighbors. We got to know them well. They had children about our kids ages and kids filled the neighborhood. We were outside often playing with the neighbors kids and getting to know each other.
Then we moved onto base and left our little group of friends behind. Because the base was on the other side of town, we rarely saw each other. But we kept up with them via phone.
After about 6 months, I will never forget a call I received from our recent neighbor. She was in tears. She asked if I could come over for coffee, and we scheduled a time. As I sat and listened to her tale I ached inside.
You see the couple that moved into the duplex we had lived in seemed like a really nice couple. They had a little girl and they started the first few weeks in the neighborhood passing out birthday invitations to the kids. Their daughter was having a birthday party. They encouraged everyone to just drop their kids off and enjoy the afternoon. They would be having cake and ice cream and watching a kid movie downstairs in their basement. They had set up some games in one of the rooms and even had a trampoline in the backyard that could be played on.
The day came and, the house was bedecked with balloons and all sorts of fun. The families brought their kids over, stayed a few minutes, thanked the parents and left.
There were several kids there. Our neighbors, both working parents, thought this would be great time to get some time to themselves.
After the party, our friend's girls would go over occasionally next door to the new neighbors when my friend needed to run errands. We had had that kind of relationship when I had been there also.
You know those times when you would say to your next door neighbor, "I'm running to the store for some milk and eggs. Do you mind if Sally comes over to play for a while?"
"Of course not. Send her over. I don't have any plans for the day."
And then, my friend noticed her daughter beginning to refuse to eat. She really didn't remember when the refusal began, but as she thought about it, it had been going on since that birthday party. She also noticed that her little girl wouldn't play with her Barbie dolls anymore. In fact, she didn't play with anything. She would draw, or paint. But nothing else. Her mannerisms became more and more withdrawn and finally one day she noticed blood in her panties.
She took her to the doctor, thinking she might have a bladder infection. She was soon sitting across the table from a police officer asking her questions about her life, her husband, her family, her extended family, her neighbors.
Her daughter had been abused. Yes, in manners I will not expound on here. The investigation began and a huge child P ____ ring was uncovered. A ring led by the people that moved into our old house.
The ramifications were horrendous. The children in the neighborhood had all been abused. The trauma was devastating.
I sat that night in my children's bedrooms and cried. I cried for all of the children that have been put through those horrors. I cried for the children in my old neighborhood. I cried for their parents. I cried for my children and the reality that they were near misses to this horrible evil.
That night I made a promise to myself and to my family. I would never leave my children with anyone that I did not know well. They would never go for a sleep over with acquaintances and, I reserved the right to be able to drop over at any time when my children were visiting others (even with people I knew).
I made it clear that I might just drop back over and check on them. AND I DID! Often enough that the other families knew I meant it. Until my children were in middle school I kept a really close eye on their playmates and even in middle school I did not allow many sleep overs.
And I prayed before I let my children go anywhere or be anywhere without me, even church events. If there was any hesitation within my spirit, I said no.
I felt so strongly about this that one time, after making all of the plans for my daughter to spend the night over at a friend's house, I called her to check on her. I sensed something that felt odd within me. I told her to pack her bags I would be over to pick her up. When she got into the car she proceeded to tell me that the girl's father had come home drunk and angry. She had not known exactly what to do. She was so glad I came and picked her up.
So, listen to your still small voice, pay attention to your gut, for your children.
Now, does that mean my children escaped all possibility of problems. No, unfortunately not. But, it did give me a little idea of how quickly something like this can happen and how you cannot be too careful.
So, my advice is be caring, be kind, be cautious, be courageous! Recognize that sometimes it is better to have things in a little chaos in your own home and safety be the goal. Remember, your child does not have to attend every party he/she is invited to. Be aware. Awareness is almost half the battle. Remember you can always go and pick up your child in the middle of anything if you have a bad feeling.
May you keep your children safe and may you find great comfort in knowing that you are doing your best.
I hope these words have been encouraging and helpful.
May I pray for you?
Dear Abba,
Please take care of the children that are in the care of the sweet mamma reading this blog. Please cover them with your protection and remind them that You are with them. Give them guidance in how to say yes and no to their children. Give them courage to say no when they are being prompted by your sweet small voice to say 'No'. Remind them that You will give them whatever they need.
Give them comfort in knowing that you have promised to be their husband and a father to the fatherless.
Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice.
Amen
May your days be filled with comfort in knowing that God is there for you. Reach out and take His hand.
RoRoEbenezer
&Honey B
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