New Year: I'm swearing off of Computer Evernote type stuff

It is December 29, 2015. The New Year lurks around the corner and I begin the plans for 2016. I've been searching the new Apps available to help us get organized and am throwing my hands in the air. I'm done. I look at the recommendations and the comments of these computer whiz ideas and without fail there are those that have been dissatisfied with these organizational help apps. Usually the disappointment lies in the app not downloading something correctly, or upgrading and not picking up the past information so it all must be re-entered, or a new way to work the app so a learning curve hits right when you are in a very important meeting, or in a conference. Yes, I am honestly done with the whole concept of having to constantly be on a learning curve to take care of mundane and unimportant daily endeavors. I have decided to go back to my own organizational planning system that has served me well in the past and I believe will rise to my aid now and in the future.

Are you with me in this? How do you handle the upcoming year? Do you set goals and resolutions?

At the beginning of my first marriage, I was young and a bit naive about the new year and it's power and excitement. I simply looked at life from day in and day out. I was a mom at age 20 and I was clueless on many life lessons.

By age 30 I was a single mom and operating in total survival mode.

By age 40 I can honestly say much had changed and life was really rocking pretty smoothly. LIFE had become an adventure and a Joy! If I only knew then what I know now - I can honestly say I would have been more content more quickly.  What is fun to know: I'm here again. In a place of the unknown. Difference between me now and me at ages 20 and 30: I do know what I have learned in the past will profit me in this new year of new marriage and new life. Now, setting aside a few days to implement what I've learned in the past. I invite you along.

Are you ok with me sharing some helps that transformed life from chaos to productivity in those 10 years? Helps that changed me from survival mode to exciting life adventure mode?  I hope they help you as you enter into this new year of 2016, I'm re-investing in them.

First, a disclaimer. I am a random/abstract thinker. I rarely think linearly. I found a system years ago that was begun by two sidetracked home executives and it worked for me. I implemented this system then and over the last 35 years the system has been re-invented numerous times. (due to moves, life changes, and culture changes)

I am here again. Needing to revamp the system. I was introduced to all sorts of computer planning apps in a course I'm taking on goal setting: '5 Days to you Best Year Ever by Michael Hyatt'. It is a great course. I am enjoying it. But, I got hung up on the computer planning apps.

There is within me a hesitancy to enter into something that will either change on me (i.e. update...) during the year, not copy what needs to be copied, or even drop or delete what I've worked so hard to get in place. Is it just me? Or, are you in that same frame of mind.

Oh I don't know. I just don't need any more stress. I would rather have something on paper. Something I can count on. Something that isn't going to go blank when I am ramping up to a really important deadline.  So here is the nuts and bolts.

Write everything that you would like to do in your life on paper. I mean everything. If you would like to clean inside the light switches (don't laugh, I have family members that do that) - write it down. If you want to have clean windows, clean toilet, clean kitchen cabinets, dishwasher emptied/loaded, write a novel, or even replace batteries in your smoke alarm - write it down. Make a list no matter how long.

Using this abbreviated system: How often a job is done on a color 3X5 card.

Excerpts from Sidetracked Home Executives pg 58:

http://www.amazon.com/Sidetracked-Home-Executives-TM-Paradise/dp/0446677671

Frequency: How often a job is to be done.
D = Day
W = Weekly
EOW = Every Other Week
S= Sasonally
EOM = Every Other Month
2/Y = Twice a Year
M = Monthly
Y = Yearly
EOD = Every Other Day
2/W = Twice a week

Color: Which color 3X% card to use for each job.
Y = Yellow
B = Blue
W = White
P = Pink

1. Transfer ALL jobs to cards - one job per card.
2. Make Menu Plan
3. Label blank dividers: Storage, Christmas, Family and Special Projects: any projects that light up your life. File the newly labeled dividers between the months and the alphabet in your box.
4. Put dividers in card file in this order: 1-31, with current date forward; four special dividers; January-December; ABCs; extra cards in back.
5. Make piles of cards according to colors (four piles).
6. Using the calendar and Basic Week Plan, file pink cards first. (Most of them will have specific dates.)
7. File yellow (daily) cards in front of today's date if job has not been done today. Daily jobs already completed can be filed in front of tomorrow's date.
8. File yellow (every-other-day) cards in front of today's date if they haven't been done, or the day after tomorrow if already completed.
9. Sort out blue mini-job cards from the blue pile. Mini-jobs can be filed for any day, even a free day.
10. File all blue (weekly) cards on moderate-cleaning or heavy- cleaning days (except quiet activities, which go on your quiet day).
11. File all blue (every other week) cards up to fourteen days from current date.
12. Separate white (monthly and every other month) cards into three piles: mini-jobs, monthly, and every other month. File white minis anywhere in the numbers.
13. File all white (monthly) cards in the moderate - or heavy cleaning days of the month
14. File every other month white cards in the January-December dividers, TWO MONTHS from the current month.
15. Transfer birthdays and anniveraries from calendar and file in January-December section.
16. Make out white card "Check date" and file in front of number 25.
17. Using old address book or phone book, make out cards on loved ones and often-used phone numbers or places of business and file in ABC section

Please buy the book:

http://www.amazon.com/Sidetracked-Home-Executives-TM-Paradise/dp/0446677671

Blessings in this New Year:
RoRoEbenezer
& HoneyB + Ebenezer and Ginger&Bourbon

Christmas 2015

I sit in my little 'Once in a Blue Moon' home, snuggled into the family room with all of our puppies settled in around me, beside The Man. It is hard to realize only two years ago I lived in Germany and was bringing in this Christmas season alone (24 years single) on the side of a mountain in the Black Forest.

Years of living as a single mother means that I learned how to cope and even enjoy this season, content in my place sans husband.

I learned that Christmas was filled with making new memories and not mourning over the memories that brought back huge holes in my happiness and inadequacies within my spirit. It was a conscious decision. I remember making it. I don't remember the year, or the exact date (I'm sure if I looked in my journals I could retrieve it). But, I remember the moment.

One of the negatives about my situation: I had to share Christmas with my ex and his family (he remarried about 3 months after we were divorced).

One of the positives about my situation: I had to share Christmas with my ex and his family.

What happened? What prompted it being an Aha! moment?

I was sitting in my red prayer chair. I believe it was just a few days before Christmas.

For years, I had been frustrated about Christmas. I felt I was the one that got the raw end of the deal - you might relate.  Every year my ex and I would flip Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. So, some years I had them over Christmas night and some he did. But, either way, my Christmas was pretty much screwed. 

As a teacher, we started Christmas Break on the 23rd.   This didn't allow enough time for me to go home to family and get back in time to exchange the kids. I was about 5 hours away from my family.   If I had my kids on Christmas Eve and they were able to sleep and wake with me on Christmas Day, I still had to be available to exchange them at noon on Christmas Day. If I had them on Christmas Day, I couldn't drive 10 hours and be back in time for me to get the kids exchanged.

And as for a family Christmas dinner - it never happened. From the time my children were 5,7, and 9 they were unable to enjoy their Grandmother and/ cousins, etc.  on Christmas. And neither was I.

I could handled even that except that once they were gone, I was alone. I didn't have a spouse to enjoy and I was cheated out of having my own family to enjoy. So, I became a little cynical. It wasn't all the time, it just creeped up, bit me in the face in spurts. This cynicism, when it raised its ugly head, brought me quickly into a deep drop of emotional sadness. 

It was the pits. Truly the pits!

I was sitting in my red-prayer-chair writing in my journal. I specifically cried out to God and asked Him to please change my attitude. It wasn't healthy for me, for my kids, even for my job. I was simply tired of being sad about Christmas. There had to be something more.

A friend of mine dropped by to deliver some home-baked Christmas goodies and asked me how I was doing. I decided to get honest with her and not veneer over my response with a smile and I'm doing great. I simply said, "Not so good".   She probed and I answered openly. I explained the whole exchange frustration and she understood the dilemma.

She offered an idea. Why not go somewhere you want to go when the kids are gone.  Someplace that will give you some good memories and bring you some joy.  I was shocked that I had never thought of it myself.

The idea slipped into my head and I had a little window of hope of making new memories. This idea morphed into several different plans. Rent a hotel room in a city you want to visit. Travel to a fun area and get a cabin. Staying in Dallas and going into the city for an evening of Theatre or Concerts. I even came up with an idea of planning to have the kids and I take a trip to my mom's and our family plan around another favorite holiday. Make that special holiday a memory building time. I chose Easter. I got them every year for Easter and I took them out of school a couple of times two early. It put a hardship on me, because I would have to plan for a sub, but it was well worth it.

And so began a little new hope called: My new Christmas Memory Files. I went to Houston, I went to Denver, I went to cabins.  This gave me the opportunity to take time before the New Year to make plans and goals that I would never have done if I had not decided to live my life seeking peace within my own soul  This, I believe was one of the greatest gifts I gave to my children.

I simply decided to have Christmas as a time to enjoy my kids and a new adventure. The family time was another time of year. I no longer felt cheated. I no longer felt less-then.

It was a great time from then on. And oh the sweetness I discovered with God during those times was amazing. You might not share my faith, but for me I found the relationship with Him deepened and sweetened.

A memory shared from my life in Germany.

And now?

I look forward to sharing some eggnog with The Man. A sleepy, happy Christmas time. A heavenly time with his sister. And, the joy of peace on earth, Good Will Toward Man.

Please know that your single parenting does not keep you from a joyful Christmas time. Take this time to discover more of who you are. It will always behoove you to know what makes you happy. Don't hesitate to find it and enter into it. You are worth it. Your children deserve you to be all you can be!

May you be blessed this wonderful Christmas time. Remember that it is a time of Hope, Joy, and LIFE!

RoRoEbenezer
& HoneyB (The Man)

Lara - thank you

Apologies to the readership of this blog. I must admit, I didn't think anyone was reading on a regular basis. Now that I do it won't happen again. Please forgive me Lara!

It will be up on Tuesdays.

Christmas.

It's Christmas time. I've had some really big revelations in the last three weeks that I will write about later. These revelations deal with a few unsung heros of the faith. But right now it's Christmas.

As a new single mom, this time of year ranked right up there with a medical breast mammogram. Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas. I love this time of year! Snow, Santa, Presents, Lights!
But there was a time...

I didn't decorate for Christmas for several years after my divorce. In fact, the first time the house was decorated, I came home from my University class to find my kids decorated the house by themselves. Christmas seemed to remind me of a broken home. I was surrounded by happy people in beautiful homes and they had it all together. I wasn't able to do it all. I wasn't able to pull it off. I was flawed and sad and broken.

I've talked before about getting in the car for icecream runs at night.  Well, we would get in the car sometimes just to drive around. Granted, gas wasn't as expensive then, but it appeared to be our little safe haven. We weren't reminded that there wasn't someone missing when we were driving around. We could just talk about anything that struck our fancy. And talk we did.

One night during one such drive my firefighter man-child said, "When we're in the car I feel like we are in this bubble of love and nothing hurts as bad".

This particular Christmas the kids asked for some 'Bubble Love Time' and I was pleased to oblige them. I needed a break too.

As we drove around a very prestigious neighborhood we took in all the Christmas beauty. The lights flashed, the trees stood, lit and gorgeous, in the open front windows. As we drove I began  to feel a horrible knot growing in my throat. The thoughts of inadequacy and failure trickled into my mind and darkened my heart.

The van was silent as we drove through neighborhood after neighborhood.

And then...

A very quiet man-child voice began to speak.

"You know what, Mom... silence...

Just because these houses are filled with lights and Christmas Trees ... Silence...

Just because everything looks clean and perfect doesn't mean that there's not pain and heartache and problems behind those windows. Everybody has something to get through".

Wisdom from the 13-year-old firefighter man as child.

And everybody does have something to get through...

And get through you will!

RoRoEbeneze
with HoneyB, Ebenezer, Bourbon & Ginger.