Whose are you?

The season of sweaters, warm-snugly blankies, and sizzling fireplaces is upon us. We wake to crisp mornings and go to sleep with footies on. It is Autumn. (In German: Herbst) I love the German word for this.

October and November are my two favorite months. This is a time for family fun and remembrances.
As a single mom it isn't the easiest time. Halloween parties at schools, fall festivals, and even the thought of upcoming Thanksgiving make us apprehensive – will my kids have good memories of this year or crappy ones?  Can I move beyond our memories of the past years and actually make new ones? What happens when I can't put one foot in front of the other and everyone around me is enjoying the season?

If you did your assignment from last week you are thinking more and more of who you are. As you travel this new Halloween/Fall Fest season I challenge you to take your kids for a nighttime dessert run. That means getting them ready for bed, tucking them in, saying their prayers, and turning out the lights. Of course for teens just sending them to bed and giving them the normal time for their rituals to be over. Then open all doors, turn on all lights and order them with smiles and giggles to the car. Climb in and head them to their favorite dessert place. Pjs and all! Be sure and have yours on as well. Not fun unless mom too is in her robe and slippers. If you have teens and they would be mortified in public like that, go to a drive thru.

You are a child of the King. You are a princess! You were made for JOY. And your children will blossom in a moment by moment adventure of discovering ways to make happy memories.

Last week was a heavy and thoughtful week of journaling who you are.

This week your assignment deals more with Whose you are. This week do this by being present with your children. Remember you are a parent. Stop and enjoy it. God is our heavenly parent. He is enjoying you, even in the midst of the chaos.

Find the JOY in your children. Remember those shoes won't be under your feet in 15 years. Remember those toys and that homework scattered over every part of the floor will be a slight impression when you're 20 years down the road.

How did I learn this?

Many years ago when my now firefighter, chiropractor, and chaplain were 6,8, and 11, my university class began at 8:00 am. This meant I had to leave the house two days a week before my kids were off for school. I would leave the 11 year old in charge to get them where they needed to be. In those days there were no cell phones readily available so I often felt I was walking in the dark in my parenting supervision. But if I was going to get a job that would be for our future, we had to make many sacrifices.

One evening things were more than chaotic. It was this time of year. Autumn. My favorite season was being catapulted into disaster because of all the projects due. At night I fell asleep in a bed filled with books, poster boards, pens, papers. The house was beyond horrible. The kids were overwhelmed with their reports and even my youngest was aware of homework being THE priority. We had a delicious meal of Mac and cheese with some kielbasa sausage and I'd sent them to bed.

After getting them down I went into my own bedroom. Sitting down on the bed I slid my head down on my pillow only to find a note paper on it. I slid the paper over and laid down. Then I realized I didn't recognize the paper I had in my hand. Looking at the paper carefully I realized it was written on with a handwriting I wasn't familiar with. I sat up and begAn to read the note:

Dear ______,
This morning at 9:00 our patrol car found your home garage door and house entry door open. We entered carefully. We could not tell if your home had been ransacked. Please contact your police department of you are missing anything.

Signed,
Your local police.

You can imagine the horror! The humiliation! The pain!
I cried myself to sleep that night. The following morning when I scooted my kids out the door for their three block bicycle ride to school I made a decision.

My life is chaos. It will be chaos until I graduate and get some kind of job. So today, we will laugh at this crappy situation. The kitchen was healthy, the bathroom was healthy. Albeit, neither one was spotless. But, we were coping with the beginnings of divorce and this was where we were.

That night after kids got to bed I woke them up and we went for an ice cream run in our pjs.

It was a moment I still remember.

The house was still in chaos, the pain was still there, but that night I put it all away and laughed with my kids.

Your assignment this week.

Laugh with your kids.

RoRoEbenezer
And HoneyB i

ABOUT THIS BLOG

EWSM is for you. But, who are you?

Are you a single parent, ministry partner, friend, or family member of mine?

You are reading this blog because you are curious about what I have to say about Single Parenting, or just plain curious.

If you are a Single Mom, you are probably looking for answers, help, or just an understanding ear. Possibly you will find something helpful you can use or pass on to someone that might need an encouraging word. Be willing to stretch a little while you're here. I'll be asking lots of QUESTIONS!

The first question for you.
Do you know who you are?

Seriously.

How long has it been since you stopped and remembered who you are?

Now, when I ask that question the first thing that probably popped into your head: Single MOM! Divorcee/Widow/Never Married...
Our identity far too often gets magnified by our responsibility for the kids or our marital status.

But what if I ask you to dig in. To remember the identity before all the world pressed in.

Imagine you are just climbing out of bed, your feet hit the floor and you slip on warm-snugly-slippers. You wrap your robe around you and head for the kitchen. Opening the kitchen cabinet you pull down the fun-filled cereal and plop down at the kitchen table laid with milk, bowl, spoon and even sugar. You pour the cereal into the bowl and out tumbles the most magnificent secret decoder ring you have ever seen. Within seconds you are reading the directions.

Directions: Discover your hidden identity.
1. Stop.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Breathe.
4. Get back to the basics.

So what are the basics? Well, there are a few that over the years have surfaced as being the most important. The first one is Who am I? Hummmm...

I'm a woman, mother of three, now married to a man that I adore, which makes me a step mom to one.
But how does that help you? Pretty much - it doesn't. My life today really can't help you in any way except in the reality that your life today will not be the same as it will be 30 years from now. So in that, I think I can safely say: Today, get through today.

Yes, but how? you probably are asking. Good grief RoRo, you are really not helping matters much.

No? Then let's think about this. Who are you? Not gender, marital status, mom, job, number of children to bathe - feed - taxi to and from - forfeit sleep over... let's go on.

5. You were created by someone that knew you in your mother's womb. That is as basic as it can get.


Back to the basics.

5.  yes... #5 again. Remind yourself that you were created by a perfect Creator.

I find that when I am spinning around in my head so fast I can't even take one more step in any direction, my next best step is to stop. Why stop? Because in stopping I can settle my brain back to the basics. Now that you are thinking and shall we go so far as to say meditating on this Creator, place yourself at the beginning of your beginning.

You were planned. Your life was planned. As chaotic, crazy, and totally overwhelming as it appears right now. You are on a journey. And no matter how often you think it will never come to an end, it will.
 
6. You were CREATED to be LOVED.

Everything that you are and have ever been was known by Him before you were even born. You are precious to Him. So precious He sacrificed all to have you in His family. You matter to Him. And who is He? Think about it. Who is this being without borders? Who is this Creator that created you and all you see, hear, touch, smell, and feel?

Today I am asking you to simply start with the very simple question of Who Am I?

As a human being you are a child of the Creator, the Great God who IS. And if you have agreed to recognize Him as who He is: Creator, Master, Redeemer and Friend, then we are at the same beginning page.

Your assignment this week: think about 3 things.

1. Who is this Creator that created me and knows and loves everything about me?
2. How Big would this Creator need to be if He created me and everything around me?
3. What would it feel like if I really believed that He was that Big?

That's all - think about these three things. I'll meet you here again on Tuesday of next week. If you want to write down what you think about, hummmm that might be a really good idea.

RoRoEbenezer
Bible References of Ebenezer

ABOUT ME PAGE: Who am I?
Simply a woman that has been there and done that. After divorce in 1990 I returned to get my degree in Education. My three children ages 5, 7, and 10 were up close and personal to many a classroom at the University. We made it through, I got the degree, a job teaching and began investing in God, my children, my job and my church.

After all my children were grown and either in University or married, I was called to go on the mission field. I sold my house, my car and left all of the known in the USA for the unknown with God. I lived almost 10 years on the mission field in Germany working in Women's Ministry.

Now, I see a need to minister to women through the internet. My children are a testimony to God's grace and mercy, as is my new marriage to the man of God's design. Heretofore called The Man!
I live in Maryland and have a heart here, in the big state of Texas, and in Germany.
Looking forward to finding out if what God has blessed me with will meet a need throughout the world.

What can you expect?
1. I am here to be real, challenge you in your faith, remind you that You are A Child of God, making you a princess - so act like it. I believe in encouraging gently, but recognizing that sometimes we need a simple - Just do it, or even more often, Just stop doing that! :/

Themes will answer these questions and more:

1. What does singleness mean?
2. How do we make decisions from this new frame of reference?
3. How do we walk when it feels like we fail in everything?
4. How do we find our footing again?
5. How can we be mom AND dad ALL THE TIME?
6. How do we cease being a victim and live in true and honest contentment?

How will I address these questions?

I will write memories, encouragements, resources, and things I have learned in the trenches. I am even thinking about offering a few bible studies if readers would be interested.

I will post once a week on Tuesdays.

What do I expect?
1. If this is something that has helped, tell me by leaving a comment.
2. If this is something you want to hear more about, a theme or verse, tell me by leaving a comment.
3. If you have a question, ask me by leaving a comment.
4. If you have a friend that could help from this blog, share it.
5. If you enjoyed this and want more, go to the bottom of this page and leave your email for updates.

Why am I doing this?
I recently retired from the mission field. There were many doors closing and one door opening. I stepped through this door and found myself married, back in the states, with writing as the only option to help people. More on that later...

So here we are.
I look forward to us getting to know each other.

RoRoEbenezer